The nostalgia of a trip up to the river. The strangest feeling coming home but not. Stopped at Pundir out of habit, but felt almost a stranger because I am no longer a prized customer of his. I will not be sending store lists and meeting him every other day. He is not a part of my life any longer. Bad feeling, but strangely I seem to be viewing it all like an outsider, as though this isn’t really me driving up this road, talking to Pundir, buying some token goody, getting in the car, driving through the barrier and it is not I the police man is acknowledging, I don’t seem to exist.
Akshay’s Aaranya, where no one knows or recognises me. Did I really live here for so many years? Is it me who feels I have abandoned here and so would rather not be recognised even? Strange, strange feeling.
It is lovely to be in this camp, lovely to be in the area, I love the river, but this camp…. The site is beautiful… It is not mine.
I miss my camp and the loos and the beautiful showers, I wonder if I will ever stop missing it.
That was all written a few months ago, I have since that day merged my expertise with that of Akshay’s to help run his little empire. His company MHE is a vast conglomerate compared to our little OAI. There is a fleet of people doing all sorts of things and I am trying to figure how they get co ordinated, as they willy nilly seem to. Also I have taken over the Himalayan Outward Bound programmes, which are so very much what I loved to do: introduce young people to the ways of nature and a different environment and the possibility to do what you did not imagine.
It is a challenge and fun. The best feeling is I have not lost the river or a camp. It may not be mine own that ran exactly to my specifications and had the magic showers. But this has the potential to have all those things too, so let’s see if I can create for myself and others another spot on the river where magic happens.
The greatest thing is we have so many more trips to offer and so much potential to do all the things that I always dreamt of being able to do.
So a challenge and another adventure begins. Toall my friends who loved sharing the river, come again, the river flows on and the weather is getting rather perfect to be up here.
Sent from Pavane Mann’s iPad
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